Football is officially over. The banquet this weekend went amazing. The decorations this year thanks to the team mom were outstanding and it was clearly, the best year I've ever had when it comes to the final banquet.
I arrived about 2 hours early to help set up. I was given one of my favorite tasks - balloon inflation duty. I had previously warned drill sergeant April that there is a strangely addictive thing about helium and no promises about all of it going into the balloons. Needless to say, she wasn't surprised when every so often she heard 'ding dong the witch is dead' in a high pitched voice coming out of the room I was in. In my defense, April was forewarned and I did complete all but one package of balloons before the banquet began.
The kids were shocked when former Buckeye football players showed up to sign autographs and give pep talks about school. It was great to see their faces light up.
I thought I was going to shoot myself during the trophy ceremony. I somehow became the babysitter of the night. The older kids were fine, my kids were awful - what else is new? Love all those kids, just not all at once. I certainly won't be opening up a daycare service any time in the near future.
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The anticipation of Black Friday is overwhelming. I think I'm more excited about it then Thanksgiving itself. I'm in the process of making a completely insane chart, graph and map of all the places we need to go, what toys we need to get and when the sales start so we can plan accordingly. Call me OCD. I wish I had this much enthusiasm towards working - or at the very least cleaning and laundry.
Thanks to a suggestion from my resident attorney... I'll be attempting to locate my volleyball knee pads from 5th grade. I have a hunch they'll come in handy when I need to slide across the floor and grab a toy off the shelf in a hurry. I wonder if I should wear a big sign with a disclaimer... 'will throw bows for toys.' Hopefully, I look as cool in person with my ninja moves as I do in my head.
Fingers crossed we can get the deals we want. I'm hoping everyone is going to be vying for those stupid hamsters and discounted TV's so I can grab my video games and My Little Ponies.
The major goal this year is to avoid getting arrested - I'll be wearing my running shoes. But just in case... if you see a number with a 614 area code or collect call please pick up and supply your credit card information. Thank you.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
I thought Jerry Springer filmed in Chicago?!
Today marks the final day of football of the season for my little cousin CJ (8 years old). It's a bitter sweet moment. On one hand, I'll be sad not going to his games until next season and cheering him. On the other, I have my hands in the air screaming Hallelujah while doing a river dance type jig.
First of all, why ANYONE schedules children to play a game at 8a is beyond me. Would a 10a game really kill anyone? Honestly?!
So I get to the game with my coffee in hand (childless... another amen there!) and head up to the field. I'm a bit late and upon my arrival I see CJ on the bottom of a dog pile getting hit in the legs and helmet by the kids on top of him. Call me crazy - but I think that's against the rules! I make my way to the fam. that all managed to get there prior and get the updates. Apparently, this team is from Akron and ready for blood. CJ's team, the Buccaneers, had beaten them already and they were out for blood. Great. This should be a fun game to watch. At least I won't feel like I've missed my daily Jerry Springer episode now since the game, of course, interferes.
Sure enough, throughout the course of the game the Akron team continues to beat on CJ and a few other players while the refs do nothing but stand there looking like they'd rather be somewhere else. Eventually, one of the Buccaneers makes a break for a touchdown only to be thrown and twisted to the ground by his face mask. Hello neck injury! At the same moment the dog pile a little ways up the field starts to get up. Can you guess who has 2 piranhas stuck to his leg? You got it - CJ. Having had about as much as any 8 year old can take CJ tossed his arm back to shrug the kids off of him. Guess when the refs decide to start making calls? Just now! They claimed CJ was trying to throw a punch and ejected him.
With all this happening tension is brewing on both sides of the field; our side because our kids are getting beaten alive, and their side because they're offended that we could possibly act as if they're playing dirty! Heaven forbid! If it hadn't been for several parents from the Bucks walking to the Akron side and listening to them telling their kids to 'take them out' and 'make them pay' then no one probably would have eluded to the fact that they are dirty players.
In the midst of them ejecting CJ and a kid laying on the field with a neck injury parents start storming the field. Happy to just people watch I remained on the bleachers with my cup o' Joe and got comfy. No need to overexert myself this early.
Parents are yelling and screaming at one another. A few parents start ripping off their jackets and throwing them to the floor as if their preparing for battle. The refs in the meantime... just stand there. Why would they go break this battle field apart? It's probably not in their job description right?!
After a few minutes of screaming like banshees on their periods several police officers bum rush the field as if this is the moment they had been waiting for all their lives; as if this moment is going to define their careers. My internal dialogue was fully engaged in the 'Cops' theme song the entire time which made it even more exciting: 'Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?' I may have even nodded my head to the beat once or twice... but no one noticed.
Clearly, with the bacon squad storming the field the entire situation calmed down. I mean who wants to go to jail on a Sunday? Pfft.
Stephanie took CJ and went home to await the next game at 1p (oh yeah... ANOTHER game). Jeannette being quick on her toes asks Carl 'was he ejected from the game or the tournament?' Huh... good questions. Let's try to get some clarification on that one shall we?!
After finding the director of the tournament we ask him if CJ is going to be able to play in the next game. When he took out the rule book and started flipping through the pages I should have known we were in trouble. This being the tournament he's directing you'd think he would have crammed like this was a final exam before tournament day! I don't know if he ever really found the page but he started yelling 'he threw a punch, he's out.' Jeannette starts asking if he even knew what happened. He might have heard her too if he could have shut his snapper for more then a few seconds at a time other then to inhale precious oxygen. Jeannette finally laughed it off and walked away. No reasoning with an idiot I suppose.
CJ of course was distraught that he was now not going to be playing in the championship game.
In the end we all went and cheered on the team in the championship. They took second. Not bad. I'll definitely be anxiously anticipating this tournament again next year. I'll have to come equipped with steel toed boots and a shank... but I'll still look forward to it.
First of all, why ANYONE schedules children to play a game at 8a is beyond me. Would a 10a game really kill anyone? Honestly?!
So I get to the game with my coffee in hand (childless... another amen there!) and head up to the field. I'm a bit late and upon my arrival I see CJ on the bottom of a dog pile getting hit in the legs and helmet by the kids on top of him. Call me crazy - but I think that's against the rules! I make my way to the fam. that all managed to get there prior and get the updates. Apparently, this team is from Akron and ready for blood. CJ's team, the Buccaneers, had beaten them already and they were out for blood. Great. This should be a fun game to watch. At least I won't feel like I've missed my daily Jerry Springer episode now since the game, of course, interferes.
Sure enough, throughout the course of the game the Akron team continues to beat on CJ and a few other players while the refs do nothing but stand there looking like they'd rather be somewhere else. Eventually, one of the Buccaneers makes a break for a touchdown only to be thrown and twisted to the ground by his face mask. Hello neck injury! At the same moment the dog pile a little ways up the field starts to get up. Can you guess who has 2 piranhas stuck to his leg? You got it - CJ. Having had about as much as any 8 year old can take CJ tossed his arm back to shrug the kids off of him. Guess when the refs decide to start making calls? Just now! They claimed CJ was trying to throw a punch and ejected him.
With all this happening tension is brewing on both sides of the field; our side because our kids are getting beaten alive, and their side because they're offended that we could possibly act as if they're playing dirty! Heaven forbid! If it hadn't been for several parents from the Bucks walking to the Akron side and listening to them telling their kids to 'take them out' and 'make them pay' then no one probably would have eluded to the fact that they are dirty players.
In the midst of them ejecting CJ and a kid laying on the field with a neck injury parents start storming the field. Happy to just people watch I remained on the bleachers with my cup o' Joe and got comfy. No need to overexert myself this early.
Parents are yelling and screaming at one another. A few parents start ripping off their jackets and throwing them to the floor as if their preparing for battle. The refs in the meantime... just stand there. Why would they go break this battle field apart? It's probably not in their job description right?!
After a few minutes of screaming like banshees on their periods several police officers bum rush the field as if this is the moment they had been waiting for all their lives; as if this moment is going to define their careers. My internal dialogue was fully engaged in the 'Cops' theme song the entire time which made it even more exciting: 'Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?' I may have even nodded my head to the beat once or twice... but no one noticed.
Clearly, with the bacon squad storming the field the entire situation calmed down. I mean who wants to go to jail on a Sunday? Pfft.
Stephanie took CJ and went home to await the next game at 1p (oh yeah... ANOTHER game). Jeannette being quick on her toes asks Carl 'was he ejected from the game or the tournament?' Huh... good questions. Let's try to get some clarification on that one shall we?!
After finding the director of the tournament we ask him if CJ is going to be able to play in the next game. When he took out the rule book and started flipping through the pages I should have known we were in trouble. This being the tournament he's directing you'd think he would have crammed like this was a final exam before tournament day! I don't know if he ever really found the page but he started yelling 'he threw a punch, he's out.' Jeannette starts asking if he even knew what happened. He might have heard her too if he could have shut his snapper for more then a few seconds at a time other then to inhale precious oxygen. Jeannette finally laughed it off and walked away. No reasoning with an idiot I suppose.
CJ of course was distraught that he was now not going to be playing in the championship game.
In the end we all went and cheered on the team in the championship. They took second. Not bad. I'll definitely be anxiously anticipating this tournament again next year. I'll have to come equipped with steel toed boots and a shank... but I'll still look forward to it.
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